Dating Passively

Are you someone who feels comfortable standing up for yourself? If a friend wrongs you, do you have a conversation or just let it go? At work if someone screws you over, how do you handle that? If you feel comfortable standing up for yourself in those situations, you should do the same in your love life. 

Dating passively means waiting for the other person to make decisions because you can't make them yourself. If you're hoping your current relationship will end soon but do nothing about it, that's dating passively. As an adult, you should be able to remove yourself from a situation that is making you unhappy or uncomfortable. You should never be waiting around for the other person to make actions on your life. Having tough conversations is one of the most important skills you can develop. The first time will be hard but will get easier and easier as you make it a practice. 

Take control of your life and don't let a relationship go on and on if you're checked out. The sooner you get out of a bad situation the sooner you can get into a good one. There are plenty of people you could end up with so don't hold on to something that isn't right. Have the difficult conversation and move on. Or if there is a certain behavior you're not OK with, talk to your partner and let them know before it festers. 

A perfect example of this was a trip I went on once with someone I was newly dating. As soon as we arrived, I saw some behavior I was very uncomfortable with. I felt very stuck and didn't know what to do. After a pep talk with a friend over the phone, I realized I had to remove myself from the situation. I got my own hotel room and had an amazing time on my own. I could have stayed with him and had a miserable experience but I decided to take action and put myself first. It was a tough conversation to have but I felt so relieved once it was over and I was able to leave him. I made a commitment to myself after that day to never date passively again. 

Have the tough conversations and take control of your own life. 



Anna Morgenstern