Long Distance Lovers

There's nothing better than a casual flirtation during a much needed vacation. Usually, that's where it ends after you head to the airport but sometimes a real connection is formed. If you live in New York, you might find yourself a bit disillusioned when it comes to dating so it can be refreshing to meet someone in a different city. And just because you feel a strong connection, it doesn't mean the other person will want to see where things could go. This is definitely a tricky situation but there are some things you can do to give it your best possible shot. 

Don't be scared to ask the other person if they have ever had a long distance relationship before. Listen carefully to their response and see if they had a negative experience. You could even ask if they would be open to it again. While first dates should always just be fun and light, it's OK to ask some questions that are personal. If you really know what you're looking for, you then know what and how to ask important questions. If you're someone who wants to live on the beach and you met someone while visiting LA, make a few comments about how you've always wanted to live out there. The more open you seem, the more open the other person will feel. You still should take it slow and get to know the person before investing but in a long distance situation, things do tend to speed up a little. 

The worst thing that could happen is to leave thinking something could happen but never hearing from that person again. While that could absolutely be the case, make sure to not put any pressure on them since it's still so new. Just see if you two are compatible and have fun together. Mention a few trips you're dying to go on and maybe that'll plant a seed for a future trip you two could take together. 

Make sure you are truly flexible and open to moving for a relationship. If you don't see yourself ever leaving your current city, then maybe starting up a long distance relationship isn't a good idea for you. Don't lead anyone on if you're truly uncomfortable being in this type of situation. 

It is very telling if the other person sets up some sort of tentative plans to see each other again. If there is no mention of a trip or a visit anywhere on the horizon, than I wouldn't get my hopes up too high. Keep expectations low but have a positive attitude. Just because it's long distance doesn't mean you shouldn't continue practicing the Happy Dog Principle. Be that positive, internally happy person with a full life and you'll give yourself the best chance to making sure that other person sees you for who you really are. 



Anna Morgenstern