Great Expectations

I’ve experienced this myself a few times, met someone from an app or setup through a mutual friend and spent a great deal of time chatting over the phone / online before meeting in person. Hours go by texting or even talking on the phone. The chemistry feels so strong. And then you meet in person...

Why is it that the person on the other end of the phone never lives up to our expectations? Why doesn’t the chemistry we feel over the phone translate in person? The butterflies we felt talking to this person aren’t there in real life. It seems impossible that this could happen. 

Unfortunately, when we build something up in our heads, the reality will never be as exciting as the fantasy. We spend hours thinking about this person, pinning our hopes and dreams on them. How are they not destined to disappoint us?

So, next time you are connected to someone online or through a friend but haven’t met in person yet, try to keep the texting and chatting down to a minimum. You both are excited about the possibility that you two will hit it off but all the chatter can ruin it. Leave the get to know each other conversations in real life. This could be difficult to do if you two won’t be able to meet for some time but try your best to keep it light. You have to think in long term goals, not short term gratification. If the other person really pushes to text a lot, just let them know you are so excited to meet them but don’t want to build it up to the point you won’t live up to expectations. They will understand. This doesn’t mean ending all communication, just not becoming codependent before even meeting. Worst case scenario, you’re planning your future with this person but have zero connection in real life. No expectations. No regrets.

The moral of the story is to always take it slow. That’s the best course of action in any situation.



Anna Morgenstern