Running Into An Ex For The First Time...

Breakups are always tough, even if you are the one who initiated. The hardest part is seeing that person out for the first time. You're unsure if you should say hello and the whole night might take a negative turn by just knowing they are in the same room. It almost never goes the way you envisioned it in your head, which you've probably played out over and over. 

So, you're at a mutual friend's birthday party or some sort of event that brings the two of you in the same room, how should you handle it? If there are some unresolved feelings you may feel the need to say something to that person. 

Maybe they broke up with you without a real explanation and you have a lot of questions and are feeling confused and hurt. If they try to come over and say hello, always lead with being cordial. You don't want to make a big scene but you have a lot you want to say and you're not sure you'll get another chance. If you feel like you just can't hold it in, in a light tone, say something like, "Hey Casper!" hinting that you feel like you were ghosted. You don't need to be nice to someone who burned you but you don't want to stoop to their level either. You can let someone know that what they did was wrong and that you don’t let people treat you that way. Keep it under 2 minutes and then walk away. Enjoy the rest of your night. That way you’re not spending the whole night looking over at them, letting it consume your entire evening. I believe in exiting gracefully because you never know who is connected so, don’t make a scene and don’t reach out to them ever again. You said your piece and you’re done now. Move on. 

If you can avoid running into them, by all means do it. The more time that goes by the easier it is to see them. You’re trying to get over this person and you can’t do that if they are very much still present in your mind. Avoid for as long as possible but when the inevitable happens, keep your cool and don’t drink too much. Your life is more than what that person did to you so don’t let it consume you. 




Anna Morgenstern