Manic Dating

I’ve definitely fallen victim to this myself - meeting someone you really like, going all in after 24 hours and breaking up within the first week. Manic dating. The high of meeting someone you have an instant connection with can make you do things you wouldn’t normally do in dating. Like spending night and day together, planning your lives together and being intimate all within the first few days. It probably feels really good while you’re in it but that kind of connection isn’t typically sustainable. Of course there are exceptions to every rule but most relationships that start hot and heavy end up in flames.

I talk a lot about taking things slow and not rushing a new relationship mostly because it’s one of the most common things I see with friends, clients and even myself. It’s hard not to get really excited when you meet someone you connect with but you’ll only do yourself a disservice if you rush things. That initial attraction is purely physical - you really don’t know much about this person other than you like the way they look.

While manic dating seems fun in the moment, all of the ups and downs can take a toll on you physically, emotionally and mentally. The highs are too high to ever replicate and the lows are too low to recover from quickly. You’ll keep searching for that high until you think you’ve found it again to only be disappointed.

The next time you meet someone you like, take some time to get to know them before making any rash decisions, such as them being the one after only knowing them a few days. Take a look at the list you created with all of the qualities you need in a partner and see how many boxes they tick. If you aren’t even sure which qualities they posses from your list, then you truly do not know them well enough.

That’s another reason why its good to go out with a few different people so you don’t pin all of your hopes and dreams on one person. Get to know a few people and see who is a better fit for you rather than just going with someone who is there and available. You’ll have plenty of opportunities to meet people who will be interested in you so don’t settle for someone who doesn’t stimulate your mind, body and soul.



Anna Morgenstern