The One That Got Away...

I hear a lot about "the one that got away." How the love of their life dumped them a few years back or their college relationship would have worked out if only they met that person circa now. 

It's easy to romanticize past experiences and give them labels that they really aren't deserving of but try to be more discerning. If nothing else, the love of your life will not bail on you. That person will love you for who you are, not who you might become 5 years from now. 

It takes time to recover from past relationships but once enough time has passed, learn to truly let go. Moving on means reflecting on the relationship, understanding the reasons it didn't work out and breaking any bad patterns. I ask my clients to journal about their last 5 relationships to really understand their patterns and write out exactly what they liked or didn't like in those relationships. A common theme I see is realizing the relationship wasn't as great as you might have remembered. Actually writing what you liked and didn't like makes you see that the list of negatives is actually longer than the positives. 

So, next time you're feeling a little down about a lost love, take out your notebook and start writing. You might realize it wasn't all that amazing. 



Anna Morgenstern