Exiting Gracefully

Yesterday's post about texting received a lot of love so thought I'd revisit the topic today. 

I talk a lot about exiting gracefully from a relationship. It's an instinctual feeling when you know someone is pulling away from you. You feel it in your gut. It sucks. All you want to do is ask what happened. Why did they all of a sudden decide to stop liking you? This is a very confusing and upsetting time and all you want are answers. I call it putting the nail in the coffin. 

Guys tend to come and go from your life for seemingly unapparent reasons. Usually it involves them dating someone else simultaneously and deciding to go with the other person. While this sucks, it doesn't make them a terrible person. We're all just trying to figure out what's best for us. Instead of calling him a jerk and swearing him off for life, let him go and see if he comes back. But the only way that can happen is if you don't send that final text. That final text can be the nail. 

Exiting gracefully means leaving the relationship with your dignity and sanity. You don't need him to tell you exactly why he doesn't like you at this moment. Actions speak louder than words and  if he isn't making plans to see you then that's all you need to know. Hearing someone tell you it's because you did this wrong or you said this once is not helpful. It'll just make you that much more nervous the next time you start dating someone. We all make mistakes in relationships so there is no point to beat yourself up. If some guy doesn't see how great you are, then it is his loss. If you don't send that last text it leaves a window open for him to come back. He might never come back either way but there is a much better chance of it happening if you don't send a "closure text". 

Down the road you might meet someone who is somehow connected to the last guy. You know he is going to ask his buddy what your deal is so it's important to avoid being just another crazy ex. Exiting gracefully will only help you in the long run with any future man you meet. That way you leave the relationship with him saying, "oh it just didn't work out." rather than, "yeah she was a crazy stage 5." Think long term!



Anna Morgenstern