Texting: Quality vs. Quantity

I get asked a lot of questions about texting. Usually the questions are around how to respond without sounding too eager while still appearing to be interested. It's all very calculated and usually a guy can tell that it is inauthentic. 

The quality of the text is much more important than the quantity. I do think it's important to not chit chat all day. Sometimes texting can ruin a new connection through misunderstandings. 

It's much better to focus on the quality of texts that you're sending. Boring texts about updates to your day are really unnecessary and don't provide value. Think about if what you're sending is going to add something to his day. 

To get out of the constant chit chat is easy. After going back and forth a few times, let him know you're running into a meeting but will chat with him later. Make it flirty and say something like, "Running into a meeting, hopefully I won't be too distracted ;). Chat later." A text like that will not only make him smile but will make him excited to talk to you again. Building up sexual tension is really important and the easiest way to kill the chemistry is to chat with him via text all day long. Suddenly this mysterious woman he was initially attracted to has become a girl he has only met once but knows absolutely everything about her life. 

Next time you meet someone you like, think about how you want to communicate with him. Although you probably want to text all the time, ask yourself if what you're sending is adding value. If not, put the phone away! 



Anna Morgenstern