How To Get Over Someone

With several friends going through breakups, I’ve been asked a lot about how to move on and get over an ex. Of course there is no magic pill you can take but there are lots of things you can do to put yourself in the best possible position as soon as the breakup happens.

As soon as the conversation has been had, start deleting all forms of contact. Unfriend, unfollow, delete contact info and anything else that would lead you to seeing or hearing from them. You have to break ties right away or you’ll fall prey to the absolute worst thing you can do post breakup. Stalking them will keep the pain alive for so much longer and will delay the moving on process. You must not be linked to them in any way, which includes following their friends social media accounts.

Once you’ve broken all ties you have to start training your brain. I’ve been practicing meditation techniques for years now which has helped me sort my thoughts and manage them better. Rather than laying in bed crying about the loss, reenacting conversations, make an effort to change your thoughts. Don’t wallow in self pity. Force yourself to think about the things you need to get done that day. A lot of times we get lost in future scenarios that we had hoped would have involved our ex-partners but everything will work out just fine. Don’t go down that rabbit hole. I promise you, any plans you had can be reworked. It will all be just fine!

I also recommend journaling any time you’re going through a big change in your life. Write down what you’re feeling. Were you truly happy in that relationship? How many days a week were you happy versus how many days were you unhappy? Did you really see long-term potential? What were the red flags you overlooked? What do you need in your next relationship? What would make you happy? What are you non-negotiables? You don’t want to go into a new relationship making the same mistakes you made in your last. Journaling helps you evolve as a person and will ensure you understand your habits so you do better in your next relationship. Seeing in writing that your ex wasn’t the end all be all of your life will give you that bit of hope you need to know you’ll meet someone else that will be a better fit for you.

This is also a great time to begin working on yourself. Finally start taking those meditation classes you’ve been talking about, commit to working out several times a week and don’t drown your sorrows in booze. Become your healthiest self which will lead you to becoming your happiest self. Maybe you lost a bit of yourself in your last relationship - well now it’s time to get that part back. Become whole again without anyone else filling in that void.

Don’t be scared to start going out on dates. Even if you feel like you might not be ready yet, going out on dates reminds you that you’ve still got it. You’re a hot commodity. A total catch. There are so many people you could end up with that would be happy to be with you. If one person doesn’t appreciate you, so many others could, if you give them the chance. Getting back out there is an important part of moving on. You might be concerned that if your ex hears you went out with someone else they may never come back. Firstly, don’t even think about them coming back as an option. Secondly, they don’t get to call the shots if they choose to come back. They wanted to know what life was like without you and this is what it’s like. You have done nothing wrong.

Getting over someone is really hard, especially that first day, but it gets easier as each day passes. Don’t think too far into the future, just take it one day at a time. Wake up each morning with the intention to make yourself a priority by putting yourself first. Don’t let yourself think that you will never find love again because that’s just simply not true. You will love again. The sooner you follow these steps, the sooner that love will come.

Going through a breakup and want to chat? Email me to schedule a free 15 minute chat



Anna Morgenstern