Listening To Your Gut

One of the most important things you have to do when in a relationship is to always listen to your gut. Instinctively, you always know if something is off. You feel that knot in your stomach, your heart beat quickens and your inner detective skills are on full alert. We often try to cover up red flags because we don’t want to believe something is true and we will make up excuses to understand the other person’s behavior. While the pain of the breakup will hurt no matter when it happens, it will hurt a bit less if it’s sooner rather than later.

I talk a lot about coming from a place of self love. If you have that inner love for yourself and know that you deserve the absolute best, listening to your gut becomes a lot easier. When you know you deserve to be treated with kindness and respect, you won’t allow your partner to get away with bad behavior. When you feel them pulling away, instead of trying to hold on tighter, let them go and know that if they don’t come back to you, it’s for the best. You never want to feel like you’re the one giving so much more to the relationship. Ask yourself if you feel happy in the relationship. If the answer is no, that’s your gut telling you it’s not right.

I also talk a lot about dating actively versus passively. Instead of waiting for the other person to break up with you, have the difficult conversation on your own terms. If you feel disrespected or as if the person has stopped caring about you, let them know. They might not realize how they have been making you feel or maybe they know they are hurting you but have lost some respect for you since you have not made them accountable.

There will always be times in any relationship when one person feels hurt or upset but it’s how you handle it that will make or break it. Don’t allow someone to mistreat you. The fear of losing them shouldn’t be stronger than the love you have for yourself. The sooner you leave a bad situation the sooner you can find a great one. Take the time to mourn but know that you will find someone who fits you so much better.

Don’t let the red flags pass you by. It will hurt to end a relationship you really wanted to work but it will hurt less the sooner you rip the bandaid off.



Anna Morgenstern