When You "REALLY" Like Someone

How many times have you REALLY liked someone who turned out to disappoint you? Were you ever certain that this person was THE ONE but they didn’t quite feel the same way? Did you truly take the time to get to know them or did you like them because they were attractive, rich, successful, charming, etc.?

We tend to put a lot of hopes and dreams on someone we don’t actually know that well. The first few dates can feel magical but that’s usually when people put their best foot forward. They might tell you exactly what you want to hear without being genuine. How many times were you promised a dinner at a certain restaurant, drinks at a cool new hot spot or maybe even a trip that never actually happened? There are many reasons why someone might sweet talk you, whether it be sexually motivated or not, but it’s your job to think rationally versus emotionally. If you’ve been in the dating game for over a decade like I have, you know that actions speak louder than words. I’ve personally learned that lesson again and again.

A good friend of mine was really excited about a guy she went on three dates with. He did all the right things - texted her every day and made plans to see her again during the date. After the third date she noticed he was a bit less chatty. He promised her a lot of things on their last date: cooking together and even meeting a member of his family. She was quite disappointed when he just stopped texting altogether. She didn’t do anything wrong, per se, but she let her feelings take over. She got caught up in his words rather than taking a hard look at his actions. From further inspection she realized that he wasn’t really in the best time of his life to start dating since he just started a business and will be very busy for months and months.

If you’re dating with purpose, don’t let your feelings take control. Before investing in someone take a look at where they are in life. Are they settled in their career? How is their living situation? Make sure they are in the right time of their lives to enter a serious relationship. Of course we can’t help who we’re drawn to but that’s why you need to let your rational mind take over and really analyze if the person you’re developing feelings for deserves them. Timing is the most important part of dating. I’ve met plenty of right people at the wrong time, which made them the wrong people, after all.

So, next time you feel yourself starting to REALLY like someone, sit down and journal what it is you really like about them. Are the characteristics superficial or are they qualities that you truly desire in a partner. You might not even be able to list too many items which will help you realize that you really don’t know them that well. Help your heart out by using your brain!



Anna Morgenstern